This is everything you need to know about me: Hi, I’m Devan, I’m 14 years old, male, single. I have suffered from insomnia since 6th grade, depression since 6th, and ADD since I was born. I’ve been bullied since 3rd. I recently lost my Grandma to Pneumonia. I’ve lost most of my friends in school but that is because I’m not a very good friend. I have mood swings, I get hyper when I’m tired, I freak out randomly when I’ve gone long periods with out sleep, yeah I’m weird. Most people would say that I don’t fit in at my school. I agree. I’ve heard lots of people say this: Everyone hates me, but to be honest I don’t blame them because I hate me too. Well that’s somewhat the case for me. Not as much as it used to be. Right now I just really hate my weight. Even though I weigh less than I did in 6th grade, people still call me fat. I’m 5’2” and 101 lbs. I have really low self esteem. I’m always putting my self down, not in that attention whore-y way but like that kid who doesn’t think he will amount to sh*t. I wish I had a talent but I don’t unless listening is one. I am in 8th grade, I hate it, it’s been the worst year in middle school for me. I so want to fit in, I try so hard to accomplish this. I guess that’s why I don’t. I’m not part of any social group or clique. I’m not even a part of any one group of friends. I tend to move from group to group each month. I have a couple best friends and they are amazing. The only thing is that I feel like I am losing our friendship. That feeling blows. If you are still reading this damn, I fricken love you haha. The big idea or theme I am trying to convey here is: I am a misfit but hey God (if there is one) made me this way, I have a reason to be on this planet and so do you. Don’t cut your self, don’t starve yourself, don’t medicate yourself, don’t be hard on yourself and don’t kill yourself (trust me it’s not worth it I’ve tried). If ANY of you need someone to talk to I am your guy. I am pretty good at giving advice and I’ve dealt with my fair share of sh*t so I can relate.
Stay beautiful,
Devan
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